it's adventure time. come on grab your friends.

some people call me the space cowbooooooooooooooooy

my dick.

"Long is the way and hard, that out of Hell leads up to the Light."

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i'm going under

kill it. and eat it.

Stranger: Row row row your boat...
You: GENTLY DOWN THE STREAM
Stranger: THROW YOUR PARENTS OVERBOARD AND WATCH THEM WHILE THEY SCREAM!!
You: AGAIN!
Stranger: ?
You: ONE MORE TIME!
You: IN ROUNDS!
Stranger: ROW ROW ROW YOUR BOAAAAT
You: ROW ROW ROW YOUR BOAT
Stranger: GENTLY DOWN THE STREEEEAMMM
You: GENTLY DOWN THE STREAM
Stranger: THROW YOUR PARENTS OVERBOARD
You: THROW YOUR PARENTS OVERBOARD
Stranger: AND WATCH THEM WHILE THEY SCREAM
You: AND WATCH THEM WHILE THEY SCREAM
You: beautiful
Stranger: BRILLIANT!

Guys, I'm fucking sick of this. I'm almost 20 and haven't been able to score a better job than a fucking cook at a local fast food joint. What makes it worse is that I live in a small town so business is pretty limited, and where I work is the only place that'll hire high school graduates. I'd get the hell out of this town if I could actually drive too, but I've failed every damn test I've ever taken. I'm socially awkward, even my only other co-worker fucking hates my guts. I have repressed lust for one of my best friends too; she's athletic, smart and a gorgeous southern bell. I love her. You know what it's like; I've been friend zoned real hard. She's my only real friend, besides this one kid, who I'm pretty sure is only hanging around me because he is mentally challenged. I guess he's the only one that can tolerate me. And what makes this all fucking worse is that I live in a fucking pineapple under the sea.

if i could get the internet to raise the $2000 i need. i would cut my hair to look like andy milonakis and do a youtube video of me doing one of his raps. i swear to god i would.